I am so excited about this documentary coming out!
"In the Shadow of the Temple"
It is supposed to premiere at the Exmormon Foundation Conference on October 10th in Salt Lake City, Utah. I have learned that copies will be available online, and I cannot wait to see it myself. You can see some of the outtakes here.
It is always nice to know that you are not alone!
Kit Curious
Friday, September 25, 2009
Saturday, September 12, 2009
Mormon speaks his mind!
There was a video on YouTube that was recently uploaded that made my day. Having spent some time today researching Proposition 8 and the Mormon church, I was excited to find it.
MORMON SPEAKER TALKS ABOUT PROPOSITION 8 VIDEO
I thought the speaker was very brave for what he did, standing up in front of the entire congregation of fellow church members and authority figures to share his personal struggle with accepting the church's involvement in the issue. I thought it was interesting (though also very typical) how the bishop tried to shut him down, eventually turning off the microphone.
I know from personal experience how the church will shut out anything that might contradict or endanger its gospel. So many questions I had growing up were dismissed. I would even be told that I was not being faithful enough and that harboring these doubts was a terrible sin. The truth is, I was a wonderfully obedient child to both the church and my parents, never making any of those "train-wreck-transgressions" or looking to other "evil" sources of information (that is, anywhere else but the church itself).
It wasn't until BYU when a former member of the church cleverly
suggested that I read a book that I could buy straight from the LDS Bookstore entitled IN SACRED LONELINESS: THE PLURAL WIVES OF JOSEPH SMITH.
Many questions that I had about the church started with polygamy and issues that I simply felt uneasy about... but feelings were not enough to allow Satan power over my spirit by looking at dangerous outside material, yet it was my fearful feelings that kept me in!
It was when I began reading this book when I discovered the importance of logic and began searching desperately for something to reassure me that the church is true! But with every book I read and every new, unanswered question that arose, I began to disconnect.
There have been so many times where I have wished for the courage to do what that speaker did, to stand up in front of my family and friends so entrenched in the church and to tell them what I honestly believe about it. And I am familiar with the ways in which they will try to shut you down. Any times before when I have tried bringing questions or doubts to my family members (honestly, politely) I was met with a terribly defensive attitude and then shut down. No logic or reasoning. No open-mindedness or patience. Instead of a deep, mature conversation, I was cast off and condemned for my lack of faith. I was never looking for a fight. I was only looking for answers.
So I admire that speaker as a very brave member of the church. Did you notice the pat on the back from his Bishop? The look on the man's face who stood up to the microphone afterwards? Part of me hopes that he will not be excommunicated for this (though he will likely be dis-fellowshipped), but another part of me hopes for something better for him than this terrible cult.
Kit Curious
I know from personal experience how the church will shut out anything that might contradict or endanger its gospel. So many questions I had growing up were dismissed. I would even be told that I was not being faithful enough and that harboring these doubts was a terrible sin. The truth is, I was a wonderfully obedient child to both the church and my parents, never making any of those "train-wreck-transgressions" or looking to other "evil" sources of information (that is, anywhere else but the church itself).
It wasn't until BYU when a former member of the church cleverlysuggested that I read a book that I could buy straight from the LDS Bookstore entitled IN SACRED LONELINESS: THE PLURAL WIVES OF JOSEPH SMITH.
Many questions that I had about the church started with polygamy and issues that I simply felt uneasy about... but feelings were not enough to allow Satan power over my spirit by looking at dangerous outside material, yet it was my fearful feelings that kept me in!
It was when I began reading this book when I discovered the importance of logic and began searching desperately for something to reassure me that the church is true! But with every book I read and every new, unanswered question that arose, I began to disconnect.
There have been so many times where I have wished for the courage to do what that speaker did, to stand up in front of my family and friends so entrenched in the church and to tell them what I honestly believe about it. And I am familiar with the ways in which they will try to shut you down. Any times before when I have tried bringing questions or doubts to my family members (honestly, politely) I was met with a terribly defensive attitude and then shut down. No logic or reasoning. No open-mindedness or patience. Instead of a deep, mature conversation, I was cast off and condemned for my lack of faith. I was never looking for a fight. I was only looking for answers.
So I admire that speaker as a very brave member of the church. Did you notice the pat on the back from his Bishop? The look on the man's face who stood up to the microphone afterwards? Part of me hopes that he will not be excommunicated for this (though he will likely be dis-fellowshipped), but another part of me hopes for something better for him than this terrible cult.
Kit Curious
Thursday, September 10, 2009
A Little Background
My experiences are like so many that bear the scars of the Mormon cult. Families torn apart. Relationships destroyed. Depression. Despair. My story isn't special, but it is mine.
I am a young woman recovering from Mormonism. Having been born into a very devout Mormon family, I lived as a member of the church for over twenty years... until I began to ask questions. I went to mutual every Wednesday night, graduated from seminary, received my Young Women's Medallion, and even attended BYU. I lived my life in a bubble, a shining example to my siblings and fellow church members. I lived by a strict moral code but was terribly narrow-minded. I was selfless in my service and fierce obedience, but I was dangerously naive.
It was after some serious confrontations (and after getting myself into a lot of trouble) that I had to leave BYU, and it was after that when I decided on a whim to move to a location far from the influence of the church (and sadly, away from my family and friends). I was completely on my own for the first time in my life. I was young, confused, and lacked much real life experience... through trial and error, I have learned to stand on my own two feet.
I now reside on the coast, working full-time and preparing to return to school. I have a wonderful boyfriend of over a year (Christian background) who has been there at my side through my bouts of depression and frustration. My parents, confused as to why I made such a move, do not understand my need for freedom. They continually pressure me to to return, to move back, to succeed in the church. I am not strong enough yet to stand up to them in my decision to abandon the Mormon cult, and am therefore living a terrible lie.
As the pressure builds, I am realizing that I am running out of time. Like a storm cloud hanging over me, I am afraid to think too much of my future, specifically my family situation. Thoughts of ever graduating from college, celebrating a passion, getting married, or having children are more frightening than exciting because of the reality that my parents will have face, and what consequences that might come of that.
For now, I am biding my time. Educating myself and growing stronger every day in what beliefs that I do have. After all is said and done, I am a much happier, healthier person than I was in the church. I might have my anxieties about my family situation and The Confrontation... but I have no regrets.
Kit Curious
I am a young woman recovering from Mormonism. Having been born into a very devout Mormon family, I lived as a member of the church for over twenty years... until I began to ask questions. I went to mutual every Wednesday night, graduated from seminary, received my Young Women's Medallion, and even attended BYU. I lived my life in a bubble, a shining example to my siblings and fellow church members. I lived by a strict moral code but was terribly narrow-minded. I was selfless in my service and fierce obedience, but I was dangerously naive.
It was after some serious confrontations (and after getting myself into a lot of trouble) that I had to leave BYU, and it was after that when I decided on a whim to move to a location far from the influence of the church (and sadly, away from my family and friends). I was completely on my own for the first time in my life. I was young, confused, and lacked much real life experience... through trial and error, I have learned to stand on my own two feet.
I now reside on the coast, working full-time and preparing to return to school. I have a wonderful boyfriend of over a year (Christian background) who has been there at my side through my bouts of depression and frustration. My parents, confused as to why I made such a move, do not understand my need for freedom. They continually pressure me to to return, to move back, to succeed in the church. I am not strong enough yet to stand up to them in my decision to abandon the Mormon cult, and am therefore living a terrible lie.
As the pressure builds, I am realizing that I am running out of time. Like a storm cloud hanging over me, I am afraid to think too much of my future, specifically my family situation. Thoughts of ever graduating from college, celebrating a passion, getting married, or having children are more frightening than exciting because of the reality that my parents will have face, and what consequences that might come of that.
For now, I am biding my time. Educating myself and growing stronger every day in what beliefs that I do have. After all is said and done, I am a much happier, healthier person than I was in the church. I might have my anxieties about my family situation and The Confrontation... but I have no regrets.
Kit Curious
Monday, September 7, 2009
An Introduction
I have learned my lesson about posting personal issues (certainly having to do with the church) on the internet. Take one nosy roommate at BYU snooping around my room and internet history and add to it one tiny slip-up (a nickname, or a little tidbit of information that you never thought would come back to bite you in the ass) and you have a problem... a big problem. At least for me, it was the reason I had to leave BYU some years ago.
I have returned to continue educating myself about the cult that is Mormonism. I have returned to connect with others who are picking the pieces of themselves back up and recovering from this terrible thing. I hope also to have a place where I can share my thoughts, even if just for myself and having a place to get my feelings out.
As I mentioned above, I do not think there is such a thing as too much anonymity when talking about something as "touchy" as the Mormon cult. I still have two very devout parents in the church as well as some extended family, and until I am ready to face them as the person I truly am, I will keep personal information to a minimum. What I want to focus on are my thoughts, feelings, and experiences around Mormonism as I continue my recovery and become more educated about the cult that has had a serious impact on my life.
I want to share, listen, learn... grow stronger in the person I have become. I want to continue my search for truth... and hopefully have some impact on the Mormon church, even if that means influencing just one person to ask one question that might possibly lead them to this one conclusion: THE CHURCH IS NOT TRUE.
Kit Curious
I have returned to continue educating myself about the cult that is Mormonism. I have returned to connect with others who are picking the pieces of themselves back up and recovering from this terrible thing. I hope also to have a place where I can share my thoughts, even if just for myself and having a place to get my feelings out.
As I mentioned above, I do not think there is such a thing as too much anonymity when talking about something as "touchy" as the Mormon cult. I still have two very devout parents in the church as well as some extended family, and until I am ready to face them as the person I truly am, I will keep personal information to a minimum. What I want to focus on are my thoughts, feelings, and experiences around Mormonism as I continue my recovery and become more educated about the cult that has had a serious impact on my life.
I want to share, listen, learn... grow stronger in the person I have become. I want to continue my search for truth... and hopefully have some impact on the Mormon church, even if that means influencing just one person to ask one question that might possibly lead them to this one conclusion: THE CHURCH IS NOT TRUE.
Kit Curious
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